Random
by Twinkie D
Summary: Trying again... Omi, Nagi and their adventurous way to the altar, spiced with sex-crazed team-mates and insanity...
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: No, unfortunately, I do not own them. Any idea where I could purchase my own Weiss Kreuz characters? TV Shop?   
  
Warnings: Yaoi (duh!), bad language, Farfie playing with all kinds of stuff - major god-hurting…  
  
A/N: Okay, so I decided to try again. I've checked the spelling and all, so it should be pretty safe to read… Though, me being me, I've jumped over something really embarrassing and you all just laugh and laugh and laugh… *shrug*  
  
Some random Schwartz and Weiss ficcie…  
  
By Twinkie  
  
Part 1: Ice-cream!  
  
[Nagi and Omi had been dating for a long time. As they had realized that this was 'it'; 'it' being an 'eternal' kind of relationship (and after they almost got caught and put to jail for having sex in public places) they decided it was time to reveal everything to their respective team-mates.]  
  
~Schwarz's household~  
  
[Everybody is sitting at the table. It is breakfast time]  
  
Nagi: *eating his cereal* Guys, I'm having a relationship full of hot and steamy sex with one of the Weiss boys. We love each other and are planning to get married.  
  
Farfie: *giggles * That'll ought to hurt God…  
  
Schu: Sex?  
  
Bradley: *turns a page of his newspaper* I've seen that coming a long time…  
  
**********************  
  
~Weiss household~  
  
[Omi is making a flower-arrangement, Yoji is sprawled on top of the cashier, Ken is attempting to play football with a flowerpot, and Aya just looks cranky]  
  
Omi: Ano, Aya-kun, Yoji-kun, Ken-kun? There is something I want to tell you…  
  
Yoji: *yawns* You have sex with the Schwartz kid regularly, you love each other and plan to get married. We know…  
  
Aya: *looking even crankier* You've been talking to Schu again, haven't you?  
  
Ken: Can we go to McDonald's? I'm hungry…  
  
Omi: *hand to head *  
  
******************   
  
[So, in an attempt to get their team-mates know each other better, Nagi and Omi arranged a meeting between the Schwartz and Weiss in the nearest ice-cream shop.]  
  
Omi: *sits beside Nagi, they're holding hands* I think everybody already knows each other…  
  
Yoji and Schu: *disappear under the table where can be heard strange noises afterwards*   
  
Aya: I want to get out of here…  
  
Brad: *turns another page of his precious newspaper* I knew you were going to say that…  
  
Farfie: *to Ken* Here, kitty, kitty, kitty… Come and play…  
  
Ken: *from under his chair* Get away from me, you perv!  
  
[The employees of the ice-cream shop look like they would like to throw the whole bunch out of the door, and surely would do that, if it were not the fact that Farfie with his eye-patch and super cool set of new knives in the reach of his hand scared them shitless.]  
  
Omi: Uhm, we were thinking that maybe you would want to give us some advises or something like that for the future life…  
  
[Yoji and Schu's heads appear from under the table]  
  
Yoji: *panting* Never have unprotected sex with anyone.  
  
Schu: *nods* Especially with people whom you've never spoken to, or someone you've picked up from the street.  
  
Omi and Nagi: *blank stares* Gee, thanks.  
  
Schu and Yoji: *in unison* You're welcome!   
  
[They disappear again from the sight  
  
Aya and Brad snort. None of them seems to notice the terrified shouting and maniacal laughter from the background. Ken (the one who is yelling) is running for his dear life, being chased by Farfie (the one who is laughing maniacally).]  
  
Farfie: Kitty, kitty, don't run away from me… Together we'll hurt God! *Somehow manages to lick his knife without slicing his tongue at the process of running*  
  
Ken: *runs even harder* AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!  
  
[The employees of the ice-cream shop run after Farfie who is running after Ken, screaming the duo to stop running and get the hell out of their shop, and together they manage to scare all the other customers away and into hiding]  
  
***********************  
  
[Later that evening, Omi and Nagi are cuddling in Omi's bed]  
  
Omi: So, what'll we do tomorrow?   
  
Nagi: Well, that ice-cream shop would've been nice, but I guess it's out of the question. I cannot understand why they told us to never come back again. Farfie was acting so nicely… Some service…  
  
Omi: Poor Farfie. Why did they especially forbid him to even look at the shop? That is beyond me…  
  
Nagi: He must be devastated. He loves ice-cream…  
  
Omi: But didn't one of the shopkeepers say to the police that 'the red head almost had sex on the table with that lanky smoker' or something like that?  
  
Nagi: *frowns* Now that you mention it, yes, I can recall something like that… Didn't we almost do the same in school? In the cafeteria?  
  
Omi: *smiling wickedly* I'm sure we've tried that, and many more things… Well, now that we are talking about it, what would you think if we had one round again ourselves…?  
  
Nagi: Okie.  
  
[They get into action]  
  
*****************  
  
Twinkie: *blinkblink* I have a good explanation! I swear! I've had too much chocolate today!  
  
Omi: Keep repeating that and maybe you'll believe it yourself one day………  
  
Twinkie: *glare* It's true! But anyways……… Would you, please, Nagi-chan…?  
  
Nagi: *a long-suffering sigh* Please review, and you'll make Twinkie very happy.  
  
Twinkie: *bright smile* Yeah! Come on, people, review: should I continue this or not? I will not continue if no one reviews…*pout*  
  
Omi: *almost inaudible mumble* Say 'no' so we'll get out of this misery…  
  
Twinkie: What was that?  
  
Omi: Nothing… *with fake smile* Make her happy, and you'll make us happy. *points to Nagi and himself*  
  
Nagi: And we don't have to sleep in the balcony again…  
  
Twinkie: What on earth are you babbling about? You've never slept in the balcony! *innocent smile*   
  
Nagi: *something that sounds like a 'liar' is being muttered* 


	2. Madness ensues

Here I am again. Read the warnings and such from the part 1, if you will. I'm too lazy to write same things over and over and over again.  
  
A/N: So I am back. Was too lazy (again) to put it to the first chapter. Gotta see how this works. Maybe I even get to finish this one day.  
  
On with this thingy...  
  
Some random Schwartz and Weiss ficcie... By Twinkie  
  
Part 2: Madness ensues  
  
[Tired because of the events and exercises (read: sex) they had gone through the previous day, Nagi and Omi decided to spend the day just the two of them. They proceeded to walk around Tokyo hand in hand and look like persons who are deeply in love (which they were). They sat to a booth in one fairly popular coffee shop, and ordered some tea and muffins.]  
  
Nagi: My love, we have to make some plans. We need to associate our groups so that we don't need to be afraid when we invite them to dinner in Christmas and such.  
  
Omi: *sips his tea* You are ever so right. We don't want them to kill each other in dinner table with the utensils.  
  
Nagi: *coughs* Well, maybe everyone else but Schu and Yoji. I think they are a bit *too* associated with each other as it is.  
  
[Suddenly, as in on cue, a scream is heard from the back of the café. People start to gather there, and our boys, being rather nosy assassin teenagers that they are, follow the lead. And what do they find? Yup. To their utter embarrassment their eyes meet the two, uh, most outgoing people of their groups: Schu and Yoji, who are half naked and ready to jump to each other's bones.]  
  
Schu: Awww, sheiße, we got caught. You damn woman! *Gives the bird to one of the waitresses*  
  
Yoji: *looks up and notices Nagi and Omi in the crowd* Hi Nagi! Hi Omittchi! [he waves to them] Care to join us?  
  
*Everybody stares at Yoji and Schu first, then turn at the boys*  
  
Nagi: *points at Schu and Yoji* We don't know them. Our names are not Omi and Nagi. We are Julius and David.  
  
Omi: We have never seen them in our lives. You bastardised perverts, get away from us! *They make a mad dash to the door and run out*  
  
[On the street they sigh in relief. It doesn't last long, though, when they see Farfie and Ken ran pass them, Farfie laughing like insane (which he is) and Ken screaming bloody murder.]  
  
Nagi: I cannot believe this.  
  
Omi: Why are we cursed with team mates who are crazy?! WHY?!  
  
[Nagi pats his arm reassuringly]  
  
Nagi: Don't you worry. Things can't get any worse.  
  
[You should know from every movie and book and fic you've read or seen that never *ever* say that kind of thing, 'cause, whaddya know, they saw a man that looked a bit like Takatori, that evil bastard, and Aya, waving his bad- ass sword, running in slow motion in the street opposed to where they were standing.]  
  
Aya: TAKATORI! SHI-NE!  
  
The Takatori Looking Guy: AAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!!!  
  
[Even their yelling is in slow motion.]  
  
Omi and Nagi: *hand to head*  
  
[As Aya runs after the Takatori Looking Guy (in slow motion, mind you), Bradley appears out of the mass of people, grabs Aya and slungs him over his shoulder.]  
  
Brad: I've seen this coming for a long time.  
  
Aya: *kicks and screams* I'll get you one day, Takatori! Shi-NE!!!  
  
Schu and Yoji: *join Nagi and Omi, and together they watch Aya and Bradley making a huge scene, and Farfie and Ken running into them*  
  
Ken, Farfie, Brad and Aya: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! *They all fall down to the sidewalk. People stare and shake their heads*  
  
People: Nutcases.  
  
[The group of four in the other side of the road shrug and start to walk away.]  
  
Nagi: This has been one very strange day.  
  
Omi: Aye. We live with bunch of wackoes.  
  
[Schu and Yoji decide to prove their point by glancing each other lustfully (those guys are insatiable, I tell you!) and rushing off to the nearest park bench to make out.]  
  
Omi and Nagi: *fall over to the ground. After some time they climb up and brush themselves off*  
  
Omi: Let's go home.  
  
Nagi: Okay.  
  
[They leave]  
  
***********************  
  
End of part 2  
  
Twinkie: was that even funny? No? Shame.  
  
Nagi: * blank look* Woman, you scare me.  
  
Omi: Don't you fear. I'm here for you.  
  
Nagi: Thanks, baby.  
  
Twinkie: Hmm. Now, again, the never-ending plea: REVIEW, DAMNIT!  
  
Nagi: If you say it's pleading.  
  
Omi: I'd say it's more like ordering.  
  
Twinkie: Shut up.  
  
Yotan: Uhm, has anyone seen Schu? We were kind of doing something (guess twice * what*.) when he suddenly just ran off mumbling something about make- up, women and his hair.  
  
Nagi, Twinkie and Omi: *dull stares* Uh, we so don't even *want* to know.  
  
Twinkie: *points into random direction* He went there. And if he isn't there, then he's there, *Points to another direction* and if-  
  
Yotan: *raises his hands and starts to inch back ways* Got your point. I gotta go. *runs away*  
  
Nagi and Omi: Lucky thing * sigh*  
  
Twinkie: Hm? *Glare*  
  
Nagi and Omi: uuuh. Poor thing?  
  
Twinkie: That's better.  
  
One last time: review! 


	3. Lovely day of work

Read the goddamn warnings from the first goddamn chapter. I can't bother my poor idle fingers to klickaty klicka them here again. ^^*  
  
Merry Christmas to all the readers! I hope you'll get lots and lots of presents!  
  
Some random Schwartz and Weiss ficcie... By Twinkie  
  
Part 3: Lovely day of work   
  
[A peaceful morning in the Koneko no Sumu ie (whatever). Aya is watering the plants, Omi is sweeping the floor, Ken is making arrangements, and Yoji… well, Yoji is trying to look professional and charming while hanging over the counter. He has a major headache and he really needs a cigarette.]  
  
Yoji: *eyes pleading* Om~i, please-  
  
Omi: No.  
  
Yoji: Just-  
  
Omi: No.   
  
Yoji: *bursts into tears* OMIIII!!  
  
Omi: No. No smoking cigarettes in the shop. No.  
  
Ken: I have a feeling something really awful is going to happen today.  
  
Aya: Hn. I have the feeling that I'll kill Takatori today. A lucky day. I will avenge you, Aya-chan!  
  
[Poor Yotan is still bawling. Omi is still coolly sweeping the floor. A mob of squealing fan girls rush in to the store. All Weiss guys look terrified.]  
  
Mob of fan girls: *squeal* They are all here!  
  
Ken: Ohh, I knew it just fine…  
  
[On the other part of the town, the Scwarzies are playing Monopoly. Brad is winning. We are not surprised. ]  
  
Brad: After all, I am the financial genius of this group. Mwah.  
  
Schu: I don't wanna play anymore! You are so dull, Brad. You always win. I hate you! *pouts a bit childishly*  
  
Farfie: *has a moment of insight* I think I love him. He hurts God, seriously. He is the one I'm looking for. We will hurt God together!  
  
Nagi: *looks disturbed* Farfie, you are not talking about the eggbeater, are you? Because, if you remember, it got smashed a week ago.  
  
Farfie: I'm talking about that God hurting Weiss kitten, Ken. We can have a double wedding, Nagi-chan.  
  
Nagi: *looks even more disturbed* I think the eggbeater would have been better…  
  
[At this point, our most beloved German red-head starts to swear in german. Brad looks very smug, almost outrageously so, and smirks, avoiding, to Schu-chan's grief, all the flying objects that are thrown at him.]  
  
Schu: I hate you, you bastard! I wanted to win! Why can't you let me win, even just once? BASTARD!!!  
  
[After good deal of more shouting, Schu storms away, looking totally pissed of. Brad is still looking smug.]  
  
Nagi: That was mean, Bradley. You shouldn't do that to Schu.  
  
Brad: *smirking in an evil kind of knowing way* I know.  
  
Farfie: I will send him flowers. Sending flowers to a worker of a flower shop will hurt God. *gigglegiggle*  
  
Nagi: I'm obviously up too early. I'll go back to sleep. *proceeds to do so*  
  
[Back in the flower shop. The stupid squealing fan girls are harassing our bishounen. ]  
  
Aya: Buy something or- *sees something* TAKATORI! Shi-NE! *is suddenly in his assassin gear, with his katana in hand, running to the street *I will get you this time! I will avenge you, Aya-chan!  
  
Ken, Yoji and Omi: *sweatdrop*  
  
Aya fan girl #1: Wow, so cool. Did you all see that? My Aya, my lovely and handsome Aya has a sword and cool assassin clothes! Aya, I love you! *runs after Aya, as do about ¼ of the rest of the fan girls*  
  
Aya fan girl #2: He is not yours! Aya is mine! Mine!   
  
Aya fan girl #3: You are a bitch! Aya loves me! No one else!  
  
[The fan girls left in the shop start squealing again. Few plant pots are broken, Yoji tries (several times) sneaking out of the shop to a) smoke a cigarette and/or b) to get away. He is captured either by Omi or by the fan girls. Yoji is developing a bad migraine. All of a sudden, a flower delivery guy pops in.]  
  
Flower Delivery Guy: Hidaka Ken, are you here?  
  
Ken: I am here.   
  
Flower Delivery Guy: I have flowers for you, Hidaka Ken. Please sign in here.   
  
[Ken does this, totally baffled as why would anyone send him flowers to a flower shop. And the bush is terribly mismatched too. ]  
  
Ken: Why would somebody send a florist flowers? Especially as ugly bouquet as this? *glares suspiciously at the Flower Delivery Guy*  
  
Flower Delivery Guy: I have no idea! I'm only doing my job! *runs out of the shop*  
  
[Everything is explained when Ken opens the letter coming with the bush.]  
  
The letter: Hello, kitten! This really hurts God. I think we should get married. Two men getting married really makes God cry. I will give one of my knives to you as a wedding present, and then we can make each other bleed in the honeymoon. God will suffer. (insert a mad giggle somewhere around here.)  
  
Ken: Good grief. *passes out, and has twenty fan girls molesting him at the instant*   
  
Omi: This is bad… *runs out of the door, and slams into Nagi*  
  
Nagi: Hi, baby. Did Ken get Farfs' flowers?  
  
Omi: *clings to Nagi* Take me the hell away from here!   
  
Nagi: Okie. *grabs Omi and runs*  
  
Omi fan girls: Hey! That's our Omi! *they run after the two*  
  
Omi & Nagi: Shit. *run faster*  
  
[Yotan is left alone in the shop. Of course, Ken is there too, but he is unconscious, so that doesn't count.]  
  
Yoji: *panics* Omigod, omigod, they all left me. What am I gonna do? *runs in small circles* The pressure is too much! *promptly faints*   
  
Yoji Fan Girls: He fainted. Poor Yoji-san! *are all over him in seconds*  
  
[The few people who really would like to buy some flowers instead of drooling after cute guys are driven out of the shop by all this. They are afraid.]  
  
******************************  
  
Twinkie: Err… yeah…  
  
Weiss & Schwarz: * dull stares*  
  
Schu: There was no plot!  
  
Twinkie: Of course there was! It was only, uh…well hidden!  
  
Ken: Yare, yare. I'm starting to believe you should not write at all…  
  
The rest of the guys + Twinkie: *in disbelief* You're starting to believe?!  
  
Brad: How slow are you? I've known that for like, what? Years?  
  
Aya: You are a precog.  
  
Brad: *glare* But still, I knew.   
  
*everybody is nodding significantly*  
  
Next chappie: Review, that is the key word. Tell me what you think. Do I suck or do I suck? Hmm? *pokes people to the ribs with her elbow* Tell me, 'cause I'm dying to know… 


	4. The hell with it

Hiya, everybody! I am so back! Thank you to all you fantastic reviewers, I *do* love you. ^___^  
  
Omi: we love you too.   
  
Nagi: yeah. She is so pleased about the reviews that we have slept with her in her bed for few weeks.   
  
Omi: It sometimes gets a bit cramped, but surely beats sleeping in the floor or in the bal-  
  
Twinkie: Don't say it. *glare*  
  
Omi: Okay…  
  
On with 'Random'!  
  
Random chapter 4  
  
By Twinkie  
  
Part 4: The hell with it  
  
[It was such a lovely day once again. Birds were chirping happily, sun shined and everybody was smiling.]  
  
Omi: Ah. I'm so happy. It is a wonderful day!  
  
Nagi: Indeed it is. A perfect day for a picnic!  
  
[They had decided to throw a small picnic party thingie in a park near the Koneko no Sumu ie, for it was the youngest members' 4th month anniversary! Happy happy. ]  
  
Yoji: I wanna go home. I have a headache. We drank so much yesterday it is a miracle we didn't drown!  
  
Schu: I totally agree. Anyone have a painkiller? One made for horses would be dandy…  
  
Brad: You filthy little terrorists. All that drinking, smoking and sex is bad for your health! Think about your future, you idiots!  
  
Farfie: *is sitting as close to Ken as possible* Don't nag, Brad. Drinking oneself to death hurts God! It makes him weep and cry and curse us for the injustice that rules the world! God will suffer! *mad giggle*  
  
Ken: *is edging away* That is rather scary… Would someone PLEASE want to SAVE me?!  
  
Aya: Shut up. I am thinking of the best way to kill Takatori. Slow. It has to be slow. And very painful.  
  
Brad: You will slice him with your sword.   
  
Aya: Damn it! Will you be quiet! I do not- *blink and pause* You mean I will kill him? That I, Fujimya Aya, or Ran, as you prefer, will kill that bastard Takatori (shi-NE!)?  
  
Schu: Brad! What will happen to us? We will be unemployed! I will have to go back to the streets and sell my precious body! * turns to Aya* Du bist eine big shithead!  
  
Aya: Thanks a lot.  
  
Omi: Now, now. We have some really yummy food in here! Look how excellent food Nagi-chan has made! * Points at the burned food in the blanket*   
  
[Omi picks up some chicken food thingy for himself and stuffs it into his mouth.]  
  
Omi: Mmmm… *swallows and manages not to puke it all back up* Uh, delicious!  
  
Nagi: *Beams* I'm so happy you like it, honey. I'm pretty new with cooking, and I surely would be very, VERY depressed and probably kill lots of people with my telekinesis and then myself if you guys didn't like it.   
  
Omi: This is best food ever made, right guys? *flashes his darts*  
  
[All of our assassins take the hint and smile convincingly, taking huge portions each. As soon as Nagi turns his back, they dump the food over their shoulders. Behind them, the ground slowly starts to die.]  
  
Everybody: Mmmm, this is better than anything I've ever tasted!  
  
Nagi: *is happy*  
  
[All our boys sigh in relief.]  
  
Brad: I am full. I will go see how the ducks are managing in that faraway bond somewhere there. * points towards the tiny little bond at the other side of the park*   
  
Aya: I will come with you. You can tell me how I'll kill Takatori, that bastard of bastards (shi-NE!).  
  
[They do that. Yoji and Schu are getting comfy in the grass, and soon they're both asleep. Drinking can do that to people, I guess.   
  
Farfie and Ken, in the other hand, are playing cat and mouse, Ken being the mouse. Farfie babbles on about weddings and children and God, and Ken (poor thing) is solemnly wishing he was somewhere else.]  
  
Omi: You think they are starting to accept each other?  
  
Nagi: Yeah. But I sure as Hell ain't going to have double weddings with Farfie and Ken.   
  
Omi: Are they getting married? Why didn't Ken tell us? We are supposed to be his friends! *his lower lip is starting to tremble*  
  
Nagi: Aww, baby! *glombs Omi* I'm sure he will when the time is right!  
  
Omi: I love you Nagi-chan!  
  
Nagi: I love you, Omi-pie! *they proceed to make out*   
  
[They are interrupted by Farfie, who is dragging Ken by his hand, bunch of kids and their mother-like-person, who all ran pass them, yelling and, in Farfie's situation, laughing. We do not want to know what is going on.]  
  
Nagi: This is so typical,no peace and quiet for young lovers! *throws the whole party to the pond*   
  
[Unfortunately, that was the very same pond where Aya and Brad were feeding the ducks and talking about Takatori and his death. Needless to say, they both were now dripping wet.]  
  
Aya: This must be Takatori's doing! That bastard (shi-NE!)! I will kill him! *suddenly remembers that he *will*, indeed, kill Takatori. Aya smiles and glombs Brad.* I will kill Takatori!  
  
Omi: *points towards the pond* I can't take this any more! Aya is smiling and hugging Brad! Ken and Farfie are- *oggles* oh my GOD! What *are* Ken and Farfie doing?!?!??!?  
  
[This was the point when the chibi-Omi died, and the adult-Omi was born. Kinda. Anyhow, Ken and Farfie were, in a public place, kissing and groping like Schu and Yoji in regular. The children and mother-like-person were drowning ( water was 1,5 m deep) as well as ignored.]  
  
Nagi: Man, I'm *so* outta here...   
  
[Both bishies turn around, only to be met with the sight of Schu and Yoji practicing tonsil-hockey. Without clothes. So maybe it wasn't just tonsil-hockey.]  
  
Omi: We'll be off, now. Bye.   
  
[Slowly, they walk away, very dignifiedly. After hundred or so meters, they hear police car's sirens howling, and as they turn to look back, from a safe distance, they are greeted with the sight of Yoji, Schu, and verrry, verrry wet Ken, with Farfie glued to him, being hauled into one of the cops' car. Aya and Brad were nowhere in the range of their vision.]  
  
Nagi: That was so weird.  
  
Omi: Let's go home. I'm kinda tired. And you still owe me a you know what. *dirty wink*  
  
Nagi: Indeed I do know. *winks back*  
  
[They run back to Koneko no Sumu ie.]  
  
************************************  
  
Twinkie: Phew. There. I don't think it is particularly funny, though.  
  
Schu: It doesn't matter. You got it out finally, and all reviewers who wished more will be happy.  
  
Aya: So it is. (What reviewers?) Can we go now?  
  
Twinkie: Where are you going? Can I come with you?  
  
Omi: Sure, come along. We four *points to Yoji, Ken, Aya and himself* have work to do.  
  
Twinkie: Assassin type of work or florist kind of work?  
  
Yoji: Florist.   
  
Twinkie: Cool. I love flowers. Such a happy, bright and lovely things they are. Flowers and sun, lotsa fun!  
  
Nagi: That was terrible. Hope you're not gonna think of a career as a songwriter or a poet, say I.  
  
Twinkie: *happily* that's what everybody says!   
  
Schwarz and Weiss: *hand to head*  
  
Twinkie: and oh, by the way-  
  
Brad: Can't. It's too expensive.  
  
[All stare at Brad in a shock. Crickets chirp.]  
  
Farfie: Was that a joke?  
  
Brad: Yes.  
  
Farfie: Okay.  
  
Twinkie: So, anyway, as I was saying, REVIEW. Thank you.  
  
IN THE NEXT CHAPTER OF RANDOM:  
  
Nagi and Omi start to plan their wedding, but will anything come out of it? Will Schu, Yoji, Ken and Farfie be able to get away from the police? Is Brad speaking the truth: Will Aya kill Takatori? This, and all kinds of other stuff, in the next chapter of RANDOM.  
  
Twinkie: Anyone seen the Dragon Ball Z in English? Think of the voice of the narrator in the end of the episodes, and you've got the voice for my little chappie preview thingy. ^^* 


	5. You WHAT!

I don't necessarily have to repeat myself, do I? No? Thank you, gentle reader. Thank you so very much.  
  
Part 5  
  
You WHAT?!  
  
[This time, it wasn't a beautiful and sunny day. This time it was grey and rainy day. Nagi and Omi were in the police station, trying to get Schu, Yoji, Ken and Farfie the hell away from there. It was not easy.]  
  
Female police officer: And then he stripped! Right in front of me, and threw himself to that German! They rolled around in the floor, until SIX policemen got them of off each other! And the other two! The blondie laughs all the time VERY disturbingly, and we found him in the brown haired boy's cell two hours ago! How did he get loose and how did he get into his cell? And then-  
  
[This went on many hours. And the assassins had been there only one lousy night! Nagi and Omi were just about ready to go and leave the others to this monster woman, when finally she ran out of complaints and accepted their money.]  
  
Female police officer: Such a cute boys. I don't understand why you would want to have anything to do with those people. Sick perverts all of them!  
  
Omi & Nagi: Like we had a choice...  
  
[Indeed. Aya and Brad had disappeared in the last chapter, and hadn't come back yet. The youngest members of the two assassin groups' really didn't want to know what their respective team leaders were doing, together, none the less, but wished they didn't need to fetch them too out of some other police station.]  
  
Nagi: I just kinda wish we could leave those idiots here and go somewhere, like to Caribbean, or Bahamas, or something, just the two of us. They'd have perfect nanny here... and damn, do I need coffee.  
  
Omi: *sob* Why didn't you say that earlier?! We could be in the plane already!  
  
Nagi: Sorry... I didn't think of it before...  
  
[At this point the Female Police Officer and Few Other Guys drag Ken, Schu, Farfie and Yoji to Omi and Nagi.]  
  
Few Other Guys: Thank God somebody came to get them. *they fall over each other, trying to get as far away from the foursome (don't think of it the way I know you just thought) as they can.*  
  
Nagi: *rubs his temples* I need coffee...  
  
Female Police Officer: Okay boys, act nice or I'll put you to psychiatric ward, do you hear me? In different countries. You *points Yoji* will go to Spain, and you *points Schu* will go to Norway, you *points Ken* will end up in Russia, and you *glares and points at Farfie* will go to Canada.   
  
Farfie: *mad giggle* I've been there already. God grieved that time. I killed the stupid doctor, and God's agony could be heard in Mars, and when I killed the nurse, God-  
  
[At this point the Female Police Officer starts to look somewhat terrified, and Nagi slaps his hand over Farfie's mouth.]  
  
Nagi: Yes, yes, Farfie. You don't need to tell any more about it. We do believe you. Now, come along, we'll go and get, uh, well, some, hmm... *thinks* coffee!  
  
Schu: I wanna go somewhere we can shag. Yoji, your place or mine?  
  
Nagi: NO! *every glass object in ten miles' range shatters to pieces* We will go get us some coffee! NO shagging, NO groping, NO kissing, NOTHING AT ALL! I WANT COFFEE! I NEED COFFEE!!!! *pants*  
  
Omi: *eyes big as saucers* Nagi, please breathe. Calm down. You are a bit scary right now...  
  
[Every single person around them are staring in obvious fright. Small meeping sounds are heard every now and then, but otherwise it is silent.]  
  
Nagi: Heh, sorry...  
  
[They hurriedly make an exit. People are left to blink their eyes.   
  
Aya and Brad are waiting in Aya's Porsche in the outside. The rest of the gang are not given an explanation as where the two have been. They climb to the car, and drive home in a cramped silence.]  
  
Ken: *squeezed between Farfie and Nagi, trying to get as far as possible from the latter without sitting in the formers lap* This has been one hell of a day...  
  
All the others: Indeed.  
  
*************************************   
  
[Finally they arrive to the place where the Weiss boys are living, and disappear to their rooms: Aya with Brad, for some unknown reasons, Yoji with Schu, for some very well known reasons, Ken with Farfie (we don't even try to guess) and Omi with Nagi, where Omi makes the telekinetic a much needed pot of coffee, which is drank in seconds.]  
  
Omi: Nagi-chan, I think we should start to talk about the wedding.  
  
Nagi: Maybe we should. What kind of flowers would you like to have?  
  
Omi: Well, I think-  
  
[They are interrupted by Aya, who slams the door open. He is wearing bunny slippers, baby-blue pyjamas and a pink bathrobe. He is grinning.]  
  
Aya: Brad told me where and in what kind of circumstances I will kill the Takatori bastard (shi-NE!)! This is like an early Christmas present!   
  
[He slams the door shut again. The boys inside are a bit disoriented. The clothes obviously threw them off-balance. ]  
  
Omi: Okay... Anyway, we'll think about the flowers later. We could go to Koneko tomorrow and look at the wedding bouquets. Do you want to wear white or do you want black? I don't know what you think, but in my opinion the white looks better on you...  
  
Nagi: *blushes slightly* Thank you, Omittchi. You are so sweet to me all the time. I love you.  
  
Omi: Oh, Nagi, I love you too! Will you-  
  
[This potential sap&fluff moment is destroyed by Ken and Farfie, who also slam the door open. With enough force to break it down, might add.]  
  
Ken: *proudly* We are getting married!  
  
Farfie: *giggle giggle* In Las Vegas! That really hurts God! It is so crappy and clichéd place to get married! God will weep!   
  
[They giggle together, then slam the door shut. Heavy thudding of footsteps is heard. AGAIN the lovebirds are left to stare at the door, only this time they are rather scared.]  
  
Nagi: My God.   
  
Omi: Uh...  
  
[Both sigh.]  
  
Nagi: I guess we shouldn't even start to speak. Yoji and Schu will barge in any second now, anyway.  
  
[They sit and wait in silence about ten minutes. Crickets chirp, clock ticks minutes by. Nothing happens.]  
  
Omi: Do you think we can talk now?   
  
Nagi: Yeah. They're probably asleep already.   
  
Omi: Where do you want to get married? Catholic, Orthodox or Lutheran? You pick.  
  
Nagi: Best would be- * he pauses and listens. Nothing.* What would you say about- * pauses again. Nothing. Looks satisfied.* I think I wanna get married in a-  
  
[And once again slamming of their door is heard. This time it is Schu and Yotan. Both smell of sex, alcohol and cigarettes. They are swaying slightly.]  
  
Yoji: Yo.   
  
Schu: We just wondreresd... wandrest... wond, well, you shnow, that, if yoush'd, kinda, wanna- *blinks* Whasht wash I shaying?  
  
Nagi: We don't know. Get out.  
  
Yoji: No, no, he wash shaying if shoo wantesh to come and have ash fourshome *hic*?  
  
Omi: No. Get out.  
  
Schu: *shlooksh offeshend* Your shlosht!  
  
[They leave, and don't bother to close the door behind them.]  
  
Nagi: This is so sad.  
  
Omi: *sigh* Let's continue this some another day, shall we? I so don't want to know who will come next.  
  
[They give up and go to sleep. Strange noises are heard from the other rooms, but our young hero/assassins ignore them the best they can. Poor things.]  
  
*************************   
  
Twinkie: Whee!  
  
Nagi: She is odd, day and night. Don't mind her.   
  
Omi: She really has been acting strange. More strangely than usually, actually.  
  
Yoji: After reading Foxie's 'An assassin and white shaman' manga she's been drooling over every picture of Schu...  
  
Twinkie: Can you really blame me? Hmm? Schu-chan rocks!  
  
Schu: Why, thank yo-aaaaahhh!!! *is glombed by Yoji and Twinkie*   
  
Omi: Thank God, she has forgotten us. We could go and, you know...?   
  
Nagi: Hell yeah. C'mon... *they run*   
  
Twinkie: Hmph. Go, then. Anyways- *tries to tackle Yoji and Schu both at the same time* REVIEW! 


End file.
